Needing Nothing
by akmarceau
Summary: Provenza's growing feelings towards Sharon surface with an event... or two. But he gallantly lets Flynn have the girl as he watches from a distance. But is he happy?
1. Chapter 1

I can't wait for next weeks episode, but that little teaser trailer got me thinking… then typing…

(Another one of my spontaneous one shots.)

Enjoy!

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><p>He liked her, always had. They might've butted heads and created hell for the other's life but he liked her.<p>

Provenza sighed as he reclined back in his arm chair. There were divorce papers on Sharon's desk; sitting there idly for a signature that would possibly never come. He knew it had something to do with Flynn. Nothing was ever done by her for him even though, everything he did was for her.

Putting distance between a killer and a hostage was for _her _safety. Caring and looking out for Rusty was to make _her_ job as a parent- _legal guardian_- easier. Checking up with and keeping an eye on Flynn was to make sure whatever _she_ was doing with him wasn't just a fling. She really cared for Flynn, she had that longing in her eyes his wives used to have for him.

He was getting old. She was getting old. Flynn was getting old.

They all just wanted the same three things: to be _loved_ and _needed_ and _cared for_. Was that too much to ask?

Her estranged husband was never liked by anyone. They all put on faces and coughed up laughs. Sure the old guy could be funny, but he was never right for Sharon. She was too fragile, too beautiful, and too needed by others to be needed by him.

If Provenza had learned anything from his marriages, it was that everyone woman has a different manual but they all want the same thing: love. They _need_ to be _needed_. They _long _to be _longed _for. They want someone to hold them after a nightmare, shower them with kisses in the mornings, treat them to lunch on a work day. Most wanted romantic gestures that made them feel as they needed to feel. Provenza could never get that right. He was always awkward around women, regardless the age. His timing was poor. His gestures were half-assed. His effort was minimal.

That was until her met Sharon. She had a thing for Flynn even way back when. He was hardest shelled and most mysterious of them all. Provenza heard stories of the good days Flynn had with his wife and daughter; picnics in the park, vacations, and even trips to the beach.

Provenza shivered at the thought of even going _near_ a beach.

"If the sand, water, and the sun were gone it would be pleasant," he mumbled as he stared at his crossword puzzle.

He remembered going after her once she had informed a mother that both her kids were dead. Her brittle voice and glassy eyes had pleaded with him to leave her be. He loved her too much to do that. Seeing her standing there in a power suit, hair tucked behind her ears, her stern Captain facade gone for the time being, broke his heart. If she could be reduced to this after a simple mistake, he could only _wonder_ how many nights she had cried herself to sleep because Jack hadn't kept a promise.

He bet she had stopped crying over the promises he had broken to her (she had been stood up at reservation only restaurants more times than she cared to count to give a damn anymore). It was the promises he broke to his kids that he knew she cried about. She was a _married single mother _working a full time job with two kids. Days were longer than twelve hours for her. She'd break to make dinner for her kids and tuck them in at night but then she would work again, all through the night. She kept a spare key in the doorframe. She hoped one day someone would just barge through that door and tell her to get some rest. _Demand_ her to fix things with her husband or be allowed to have some joy of her own outside of family life. _Command_ her to just have a good cry over her husband and move on.

She lived a life by the book. She liked rules because of the structure. She liked the law because it needed to be enforced. She wished life came with a rule book. If it did, she would have followed it word for word.

Provenza remembers vividly how a single tear had slipped from her eye and followed the frame of her cheek. He realized then that he really loved her. But she loved Flynn; he could tell. He didn't want to get in the way of his best friend and his boss.

But Flynn wasn't there then. He was.

She dropped her head and an auburn curtain veiled the tears that followed the lone drop. She fidgeted with her fingers. Bending, twisting, and rubbing them harshly. It was as if she was trying to wipe some sort of bad residue from them; it was as if she was trying to wipe her conscience from her hands.

"Hey, hey," Provenza had whispered in a modulated voice. He went around her office closing the blinds, but he knew everyone was gone already. He came back and stood in front of her. He watched her mess with her hands. He grasped hers wrists, each of his thick chubby hands curled around her thin wrists.

No one should be that thin.

She looked after everybody, but rarely did anyone _really_ look after her. He knew Flynn made sure she ate at work but when she went home it was in her jurisdiction. The kid cooked sometimes, and if he did Provenza knew she would eat. Other than that, it was her control.

"You did the right thing," Provenza comforted. Even though he had been against with holding the information of the children the whole case, he knew she was right. She was always right.

After they had had their little comfort scene, things went back to normal. He watched her and Flynn from a distance.

Sharon loved Flynn, but was confused if it was really Andy she loved or if it was just what he was presenting himself as.

Flynn loved Sharon, but was puzzled about on the terms their 'relationship' was on.

Provenza loved Sharon, but he only wanted to see her happy so he let her love Flynn. And if their relationship were ever to backfire, he silently vowed to be there for her. He vowed to always be there for her in a time of need.

…

"I just wanted one thing in life, and I swear it's just one thing- well actually it might be considered two…" Sharon whispered to Flynn as they waited for the elevator. Provenza stopped to watch their encounter. He would take the next elevator if he needed to.

"And what is that?" Flynn asked with a smile on his face as he looked into those green eyes that held so much emotion.

"I just wanted to be loved and grow old with someone. You know just share a life of trouble and joy to watch dogs chase children then grand children and maybe even great-grandchildren. Do your think that is too much to ask for?"

_No_, Provenza whispered to himself as his shoulders sank slowly.

"No," Andy whispered to her ash he tucked a strand of her behind her ear.

"It's silly and it won't ever happen now," Sharon said sadly, leaning into Andy's palm that cupped her cheek lightly.

"Why is that?"

"He signed the papers."

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><p>Please review!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Enjoy!**

They had all shared the same feelings once. Flynn and Provenza went way back. Back to when they were budding drunks in a bar swoon over girls way out of their leagues.

When Provenza first laid eyes on Captain Sharon Raydor in her power suit and all business, he wanted to shoot her. She looked like nothing but trouble, and in truth she was that exactly: _nothing but trouble._

She brought with her trouble in the division, trouble in deal-making, trouble in convictions, and trouble in his head. For months on end she was the only thing he could completely focus on.

There was something in the trouble she brought that made him like her.

There was something in the way she brought the trouble that made him like her.

She had gotten the job the old fashion way; by _working_ for it.

He heard from the grapevine she was once a fabulous detective; transferred to FID when she was pregnant with her first child, a little girl, Emily. She stayed there quoting that it was safer. Provenza knew it was because of martial problems. Jack was mostly out with Flynn; out _late_ with Flynn.

He wanted to do something then, maybe offer to take the kids for a night (after all how hard was a three year old and infant?) but there was no reason for her to ever trust him with her kids.

When she was transferred to Major Crimes, and Taylor pulled his crap about "pulling together for the sake of the city", Provenza just wanted to shoot her again.

Flynn, on the other hand, looked like a puppy who had just found home. He wanted to help the Captain in anyway he could. Provenza helped the boy.

_She who rules the room, cares for the room. _

_She who cares for the room, has no one caring for her._

To say he was jealous of his partner's relationship was true.

Provenza had gone through enough wives in his lifetime, last thing he wanted was another, but Sharon O'Dwyer Raydor was different. She made him feel as though he needed to buy out Tiffany's and build a stone castle from the ground up. She made him feel as though a little piece of the sun had just been dropped in the murder room.

She was the world's greatest mother by a long shot. She was caring, compassionate, and loving.

Of all the people in the world, of all the things in the world, Provenza was in love with the one who drove him the most insane.

They solved cases, problems, and simple fights all over LA and within the division. Andy Flynn was her go to guy. Provenza wished that one day, just one, she would be her go to guy for the day. Even if it was just a mere few minutes. Just to be needed by her would worth more than any jewels in the world. He wanted to be the one she called to have by her side. The one that she _needed_ by his side.

It was a simple circle, to want to be needed and need to be needed.

_To want to be needed_

"Hey, Captain?" Provenza asked cautiously.

"Hmm?" Sharon said, not taring her eyes from the file in her hand.

"Would you ah," Provenza stood and scratched his head. He made his way over to the Captain who was sitting crossed legged on Flynn's desk. "Would you um like to get drinks on night?"

_and need to be needed. _

"Lieutenant," Sharon whispered looking him in the eyes. "You know the answer to that."

"Right, right," Provenza said, heading back to his chair. "What do we," he was fazed just slightly and berated himself. "What do we have on this suspect?"

He would find common ground. He would find _work_.

_Work._ It was something different. It cost him many wives. He knew that they all got together to bitch and moan about him, but he knew at one point they loved him and they knew he loved them. She hummed gently. _Oh! _What those hums could do him. Her eyes scanned the papers.

"Very little it would appear," Sharon said.

"Captain," Flynn said as he entered her office. "We got him. Buzz triangulated his cell. He had gone to classes that day as if nothing had happened. Sykes and Julio are going to pick him up."

"Or maybe just enough," Sharon addressed Provenza with a smirk. He gave a half hearted smile. Sharon excused herself politely as she followed Andy into the observation room to make sure everything was set for the interrogation.

_What does he have that I do not? _Provenza asked himself as he stared after his partner and boss. It wasn't the first time he had asked himself that and he doubted it would be the last time, but when he could answer, he would stop asking. They used to be _fun_, and _flirty_, and _drinking buddies_, and they were _always _getting in trouble, but they _always _ had each other's back.

Life had some nasty plot twists apparently.

Something was off. He could sense it. No, no. More than that, he could _feel _it. To him the sense was palpable. Most detective's would agree that there is a cop sense, and all acquire it. It wasn't between her and Jack, he had been in the murder room and almost eaten alive.

"Anything that ruins Jack Raydor's day will make mine," Provenza said smartly. He watched her smile grow and she crossed her arms and spun a little in her chair. He watched her for a second before he left. _No, _it wasn't Jack. She still hated him.

Andy was injured. Something he was sure she might know too. A blood clot— in his carotid artery. Oh the troubles it would bring to her. He had Patrice now, but that was only because she had Andy. Patrice was _fabulous_ but she lacked something. She just wasn't Sharon. The elegance in the woman was something of itself. She had control of herself and her actions at all times. Except, maybe, when alone with Andy. Provenza sighed, he would love to see her loose control.

There were some things in life he would not have.

And those were the things he _needed. _

**Please review!**


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